What do we do if it’s not working? And what if the relationship has run out of steam?

First thing: be open with each other. It’s good practice to review the relationship every few meetings, and certainly after the first two meetings. If you decide the match is wrong, that’s OK – in a small proportion of pairs, either the rapport isn’t there or the mentor’s experience doesn’t match what the mentee needs. If this is the case, contact the mentoring coordinator to see if they can re-match you. Anecdotal evidence suggests that where this disengagement is handled positively, the relationship often re-forms at a later date when the mentee’s needs change.

“Out of steam” is sometimes called “relationship droop” and the most common reason is that you have dealt with all the simple, short-term practical issues, but have not yet got into the deeper and longer-term issues. Sometimes, the mentee isn’t ready to do that – in which case, you can reduce the frequency of meetings until this happens. Most relationships can get into greater depth (and therefore deliver more value) if you review the relationship together, paying particular attention to the level of mutual trust and the relationship purpose. Focus on the mentee’s medium to long-term career.