Winding up the mentoring relationship

By reviewing the relationship regularly, both mentor and mentee will be aware of when the relationship is maturing (rather than it just losing a little momentum from time to time). In this way, the ‘maturity review’ is less scary for both parties. It is also a useful opportunity for the mentor to reflect, learn and improve their practice for future relationships.

If there is a need to close down the formal relationship, the mentor and mentee should:

• Recognise that the formal relationship must come to an end
• Discuss at least one meeting ahead how the ending will be managed
• Create an agenda for the final formal mentoring session:
  • Review/re-define outstanding objectives
  • Finish within a mentoring session
  • Allow time for moving on
• Look back at what you have both learned
• Look to the future
• Celebrate the relationship!

Questions which might be asked include:

• What have we achieved together?
• What would we like to thank each other for?
• Do we want to continue in a more ad hoc, informal relationship and, if so, what will the intent of this be?
• When we look back on this relationship, what have we learned that we can apply to our future mentoring relationships?
• What or who will take the place of the mentor?

Always try to finish on a high note, and both take time to reflect on what you have achieved together, and what you have learned as an individual. Allow time for ‘grieving’ too, which might mean that you keep in touch with each other for a short while after the relationship formally ends or that you agree to ‘keep the door open’ for future conversations.